You Can't Think Away Pain

Dear friends,

I want to share something real with you—something I’ve been working through lately, and maybe you have too.

I’m an overthinker. My first instinct when anything feels off—emotionally, physically, spiritually—is to think harder about it. Reason my way through. Solve it. Out-think it.

And honestly? I’ve always believed I could solve anything with enough thought.

But over the past few weeks, I’ve realized something important:

You can’t think yourself out of emotions.

It doesn’t matter how rational I get. It doesn’t matter how perfectly I map out the pain or trace its roots. No combination of thoughts has ever fully taken away the feeling itself.

I’ve learned that emotional pain isn’t a math problem. It’s not meant to be solved—it’s meant to be felt.

We’re all living life trying to minimize pain. It’s like a giant equation constantly running in the background:

“What’s the choice that leads to the least pain?”

And here’s what I’ve noticed:

We’d rather live a duller life with less pain and less pleasure than a richer life with both more pain and more joy.

That hit me.

My brain, like yours maybe, fears pain. The second something uncomfortable arises, my thoughts go into defensive mode:

Let’s analyze. Let’s fix. Let’s reason.

But emotional healing doesn’t work that way.

The only way out… is through.

And the most efficient way to move through pain is not to solve it. It’s to feel it. To sit with it. To embrace the discomfort.

Pain, just like anything else in life, numbs with exposure. And the more we avoid it, the louder it gets.

I’ve come to understand something I wish I learned earlier:

Emotions and thoughts are separate.

You can understand the reason behind an emotion and still feel the weight of it. You can have the most logical solution and still be hurting.

So I remind myself daily:

Stop trying to think your way out of what you’re meant to feel. Life isn’t just happening in your head—most of it is happening outside of it.

There are two worlds: the internal and the external. But the real transformation? It happens when we stop living only in one.

With gratitude,

Jack


The Grateful Podcast:

I have a podcast where I interview people much smarter and more qualified than me talking about how you can live a more purposeful life full of gratitude and ambition. 
I release episodes every Monday where I go over a lesson I’ve recently learned.

Every Wednesday and Saturday I release an episode with a very cool guest. 

You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or find the video version on YouTube.

Coaching:

If you’re ready to take action and need guidance, I’d love to help.

I have limited space available so if you’re interested, book a free 15-minute call with me to discuss your dreams and how to start making them happen. 

You can shoot me an email at [email protected] where we can get scheduled.

Make this week rock. Thank you so much for reading this; I’ll see you next week.

With love,

Jack Wagoner