We Create Our Reality

Dear Dreamers,

How much of our reality is a direct result of the stories we tell ourselves?

I’ve realized over the past couple of weeks that I can be doing the same exact thing, but experience that thing in wildly different ways based on how I perceive myself in that moment.

“We see the world not as it is, but as we are.” – Anaïs Nin

To exemplify this, last week I went on an amazing run— 5 AM wakeup, dark outside, snowy ground. I absolutely loved it. I felt alive and joyful with an aura of calm clarity.

A few days later, I went on a second run— same conditions at the same time, almost nothing was different; except, this time, I was miserable. There was a quarrel between my monk mind and my monkey mind happening inside my head, and I couldn’t quiet it down. I ran slower, I felt less energized, and I was the opposite of calm and clear.

Why is it that I perceived two seemingly indistinguishable actions in two antithetical ways? What changed between the two runs?

It wasn’t the snow, the time of day, or even my physical ability. The only difference was the way I was relating to the experience—the narrative I was telling myself about it.

On the first run, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. There was no resistance, no second-guessing. My mind was quiet, and I let myself sink into the rhythm of my breath, the crisp air, the crunch of snow underfoot. I wasn’t “pushing through” the run—I was just running, perfectly content to be there.

On the second run, that peace was missing. My mind wouldn’t stop racing. It latched onto discomfort, overanalyzed every sensation, and turned what could have been a simple, joyful movement into something I had to endure. And because I was caught in that spiral, I ran slower, felt heavier, and struggled through an experience that, just days earlier, had felt effortless.

It’s crazy how much our perception can shape reality. The exact same run can either be freeing or miserable, just like a conversation can either be fulfilling or draining or a challenge can either be exciting or overwhelming. The experience itself is neutral—we are the ones who assign it meaning.

So if that’s true, then the real question is: Can we control the stories we tell ourselves in the moment? 

That’s something I’ve been experimenting with, and it often feels like we can’t. It is my natural instinct to play the victim, giving the way I am feeling so that I can take the easy road. 

Evolutionarily, this makes sense. Why would I want to take the risk of doing something my body didn’t feel prepared to do? I would get eaten by a lion or something.

Now, however, I don’t have to worry about that. If I let my victim’s mind control me, I would only ever push myself when I “felt like it”. That is unacceptable. That teaches the mind that it is in control, but I want to be in control.

SO,

The next time I find myself resisting an experience—whether it’s a run, a task, or a difficult conversation—I will ask myself:

• If this felt effortless last time, what’s different now?

• What story am I attaching to this moment?

• What happens if I just let go and be here?

Sometimes, just asking the question is enough to shift my perspective. Other times, it takes work—actively reframing the discomfort, detaching from the noise in my head, or simply choosing to stop fighting the moment and surrender to it instead.

I’m still figuring it out. But if two identical runs can feel like night and day, then imagine how many other experiences in life could change—simply by changing the way we see them.

I see this not as a daunting task, but as a freeing idea. We can control how we perceive a moment, and therefore how much joy we get from life. It isn’t easy, but it is definitely worth it.

The Grateful Podcast:

I have a podcast where I interview people much smarter and more qualified than me, talking about how you can live a more purposeful life full of gratitude and ambition. 

I release episodes every Monday where I go over a lesson I’ve recently learned.

Every Wednesday, I release an episode with a very cool guest. 

You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or find the video version on YouTube.

Coaching:

If you’re ready to take action and need guidance, I’d love to help. 

I have limited space available so if you’re interested, book a free 15-minute call with me to discuss your dreams and how to start making them happen. 

You can schedule it right here: Book a Free Call

Make this week rock. Thank you so much for reading this; I’ll see you next week.

With love,

Jack