The Backwards Law: Why Trying Harder Sometimes Backfires

Does it ever feel unfair that the people living the life you dream about…

don’t even seem to want it that badly?

Like you’re doing everything right—working harder, caring more—and it’s still not clicking?

That’s been on my mind a lot lately.

Because sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes.

There’s actually a name for this: The Backwards Law.

It’s this idea that the more you chase something—peace, happiness, success—the more you create resistance to actually having it.

You try to fall asleep, and you’re wide awake.

You try to be calm, and you get more anxious.

You push and grind for success, and it somehow feels further away.

The desire itself creates tension.

And that tension keeps you stuck.

It disconnects you from the present moment—and ironically, from the very state you’re trying to reach.

I’m learning that sometimes the answer isn’t to push harder.

It’s to ease up.

Not to quit. But to let go of the grip that’s strangling the joy out of what you’re doing.

Strive less. Trust more.

I hate how true that is.

This is probably one of the hardest things for me.

Knowing when to go all in… and when to let it come to me.

I started seeing this pattern when I was younger—back when baseball was everything.

I loved the sport more than anyone I knew.

I lived and breathed it. Phillies games, backyard swings, late-night highlights.

I even wore Phillies gear for 1,500 days straight. A literal world record.

That’s how much I cared.

But here’s the twist: I was never that good.

Sure, maybe I could’ve played in college. But I was never the star.

Meanwhile, my friends who didn’t seem to care half as much were getting recruited, hitting bombs, looking effortless.

I remember being so frustrated.

It felt unfair. I wanted it more. I worked harder.

But now, looking back, I think how much I cared might’ve been part of the problem.

That gripping, that trying-to-prove-something energy—it’s heavy. And it shows up in ways that block flow.

Lately, I’ve been feeling the same thing in business and podcasting.

I care so deeply. I want this to grow. I want it to matter. I want to make this my life.

But I’ve realized that that exact wanting—that desperation to “succeed”—can actually push the goal further away.

Like trying to force a magnet to stick… but you’re holding the wrong side.

So I’m learning to let go. Not of the dream—but of the pressure.

I’m still showing up. Still going hard.

But I’m trying to build from a place of peace instead of panic.

And every time I do that—when I let go of needing it to work so badly—ironically, it starts working better.

That’s the paradox.

🎙 The Grateful Podcast

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Thank you for reading.

Keep showing up. Keep dreaming big.

I’ll see you next week.

With gratitude,

Jack