My Promise To Myself

Hey everyone,

What a week this has been. It was my last full week of high school in which I had my last day at a job I’d had for 4 years, started a new job, and didn’t feel like it was a good fit so I quit the job.

I also got out in senior assassin (basically a game where all the seniors run around and shoot each other with water guns. It goes on for a month), and I finished some final projects.

A lot is ending in my life right now. I am in a massive transitionary period, and I have to remind myself to be there. One of my traits that I need to work on the most is instantly filling gaps in my life.

I struggle to let there be space in my days for myself, especially during the school year (summer time I am much better about it). When I do see a gap in my schedule, I instantly feel a compulsion to fill it in. That is what happened with that job.

By making decisions so fast like that, I can make mistakes and actually waste more of my time because I didn’t take the time to figure out if whether I chose to do was in alignment with me or not.

This is my post on X from Saturday:

A few weeks ago, I made a promise to myself that I would go forward in this chapter of my life only making decisions that feel right. This week I got myself into a few things that violated that, and today I got myself out. I just said no, and it feels so good. Live on your terms. It’s worth it.

Moving forward, I am going to be listening intently to my internal compass. I am moving out of the structured life of a high school student, and I am finally able to live life the way that I choose to do so on a more macro scale.

This is where I get to be me, find me, become me. I get to differentiate myself from others in this chapter.

If I want to build a future that is fulfilling and joyful, I must do so by listening to what I genuinely want, despite what others may want for me.

I don’t care how great an opportunity looks on paper, if it doesn’t fit with what I am trying to build in my life, I will say no.

I know what I want. That is rare for my age.

Most people my age say yes to as many things as they can because they are still trying to find what they love, but I already know.

Now, of course, maybe that vision will change a little bit as I move forward, but it feels right for the moment.

That means that I must be frugal with my yeses and extravagant with my nos.

I have to realize that, in order for me to move forward in the way that I truly want to live, I need to listen to myself over others. I will repeat that again for myself: I need to listen to myself over others.

I am rereading one of the most influential books in my life right now, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and in that book, Siddhartha’s most pivotal realization is that his peace will come from letting go of his attachment to teachers and teachings. The teaching he needs to reach his enlightenment comes from within himself.

Although my goal at this point in my life isn’t complete enlightenment, I think that I can really learn some things from Siddhartha’s realization.

As a young, ambitious individual, the only one who can truly tell me what I should do is myself. I should stop my endless search for external meaning and come back to the inside. That is where my drive and my direction comes from.

This whole idea reminds me of the philosophy I had a little less than two years ago, before my ego got so caught up in wanting to be materially successful with the things I was doing.

The only way that we can be in touch with ourselves so that we can listen is through periods of quiet.

Quiet periods of solitude should be worked into our days and prioritized as much as your most important task.

I am as guilty as anybody of not doing this, but I remember the feeling from when I did, and my output was at least doubled with no more effort. I also just felt better, happier, more joyful, more fulfilled, more aligned.

That is my main goal this summer— get back to that and then don’t go backwards.

I want to progress in my life from the inside out, optimizing for my fulfillment not my external success. External success will come as a byproduct, but it should never be the main goal, at least not for me.

This is my promise to myself, and I hope all of you hold me accountable to it.

The Grateful Podcast:

I have a podcast where I interview people much smarter and more qualified than me talking about how you can live a more purposeful life full of gratitude and ambition. 
I release episodes every Monday where I go over a lesson I’ve recently learned.

Every Wednesday and Saturday I release an episode with a very cool guest. 

You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or find the video version on YouTube.

This week’s episodes:

Monday: Feeding Obsession Through Scarcity: How To Love The Journey

I will dive into my thought process writing this newsletter and more personal examples of feeding obsession through scarcity.

Wednesday: The Hustle: Balancing Passion & Growth at 16 with Gavin Beauregard

Saturday: Gratitude As a Tool To Succeed and Love Life with David George Brooke

Coaching:

If you’re ready to take action and need guidance, I’d love to help.

I have limited space available so if you’re interested, book a free 15-minute call with me to discuss your dreams and how to start making them happen. 

You can shoot me an email at [email protected] where we can get scheduled.

Make this week rock. Thank you so much for reading this; I’ll see you next week.

With love,

Jack Wagoner