My Drive Causes My Dissatisfaction

Dear friends,

I love my life.

I truly do, and I don’t think there is a better feeling in the world. I am at a point in my life right now where change is guaranteed— graduation, college, etc. The one constant that I have is trust in my love of life. That is all I need.

In this newsletter, I am going to do something a little bit different. Instead of citing research on some lesson I’ve learned and want to teach, I am going to reflect a little bit. This is more of a personal one. There is no lesson intended, but that doesn’t have to stop you from trying to find one.

I wonder how graduating high school will affect my self -image. I have spent the last two years with an identity wrapped up in the ego-boosting idea that “I am doing these things while in high school.” Whether I was living in France for my junior year, starting my first business, or launching my podcast, I love to be ahead of the curve— doing the exceptional before it is “supposed to be” done, all while doing everything in high school as perfectly as possible.

This exact mindset that has been a core pillar of who I am created another pillar, just as large— rushing.

For all my talk about presence and trusting life will work out exactly as it should, I don’t seem to follow it. I am always rushing from one thing to the next— I kind of have to if I want to keep up my identity as an early overachiever.

I feel a self imposed pressure to always be doing, and not just doing, but doing better than anyone I can compare myself to.

The comparison of social media has been both a blessing and a curse for me and this rushing mentality. On one hand, it has pushed me to be greater and more successful than I ever would have been without it. I can now compare my everyday achievements to guys like Iman Gadzhi and other incredibly successful young people, making me objectively better by pushing me harder, but making me relatively worse off and more fatigued.

I wonder how the transition to being a college student and an adult will change this rushing mentality.

Recently I have been craving the inner peace of being content with what I am producing and not adding more to my plate. I have been craving the quiet of a summer morning walk during the sunrise.

I hope that, after graduation, I will be able to find some more balance, some more quiet. I hope that I can try and let go of all the comparisons that got me here, realizing how valuable they were but that their time is up. In order for me to progress in the way I want to for me I need to let go and be fine being content now.

Easier said than done right?

I think I can do it.

And, as I started this off saying, no matter what, my absolute love of life will always guide me in the right direction.

It’s the duality of gratitude and ambition at its finest.

The Grateful Podcast:

I have a podcast where I interview people much smarter and more qualified than me talking about how you can live a more purposeful life full of gratitude and ambition. 
I release episodes every Monday where I go over a lesson I’ve recently learned.

Every Wednesday and Saturday I release an episode with a very cool guest. 

You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or find the video version on YouTube.

This week’s episodes:

Monday: My Drive Causes My Dissatisfaction

I will dive into my thought process writing this newsletter and more personal examples of feeding obsession through scarcity.

Wednesday: Western Buddhism and Meditation with Susan Piver

Saturday: Chasing Dreams While Loving Life with Tristan Gregoire

Coaching:

If you’re ready to take action toward a more fulfilled life of gratitude, I’m here to help.

I have limited space available so if you’re interested, book a free 15-minute call with me to discuss your dreams and how to start making them happen. 

You can shoot me an email at [email protected] where we can get scheduled.

Make this week rock. Thank you so much for reading this; I’ll see you next week.

With love,

Jack Wagoner